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The earth is in grave danger, and we all need to dig deep, step up to the plate and do all we can to turn a corner for a better future. Displeased with old bitch, Zeus crippled her by chopping it in half. Zeus was the first, Zeus last, the lightning's lord, Zeus head, Zeus center, all things are from Zeus... Zeus alone first cause of all. Honeystly I like parrotst as much as I do liverwurst. Get on the bottle you damn democrats! It's a less polite way of saying go have sexual intercourse with yourself.

Nuclear rabbit

I started to plump at the age of 12 with my neighbor Gregory, who served three years in prison for robbery and was released from prison without a wisdom tooth, but in general he looked like a chewed tomato. And when I was 9 years old I tried alcohol for the first time. I always watched my dad eat dried roach with a cool frothy drink and I really wanted to try it too. I was from a poor family and to buy myself a beer I had to steal money from the pockets of jackets in the school wardrobe. My dad also stole - parts from cars on an industrial scale at the General motors factory. He didn't work there, got into the factory through the sewers and once caught halera because he stepped on a rat. On TV, and we didn't have a TV at home, I went to...

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Great Depression (fck summertime sadness)

It's been a long time since I've breathed fresh air and pooped like a king. Due to the Corona Virus epidemic, I was sitting in a hollow tree with woodpeckers with a cork from shitty Georgian wine, which I stuffed into my anus according to Copperfield's instructions, so as not to get infected with the virus. Just yesterday, I got out of the hollow covered in bird shit, feathers, in wet pants and asked myself - where am I? Thank God that a tree stood at the entrance to my house, I found the way...

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Guerrilla Warfare

Have you noticed, that people hide in the cracks like cockroaches, so that they would not be slapped with a slipper by the groups of the anonymous authority, which has been given birth by the international network structures, World behind side scene? And in the zombie’s media, donkey urine is poured into the infernal cauldron, where Bill Clinton is boiling, who asks for a last chance to put a dick in Monica’s mouth. Hello, and welcome to the first new episode of Survivor Chronicles. During...

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Experience of Visions

Not so long ago, I worked part time at a sawmill and a log fell on my head, after which I lost consciousness. Hawk One-Two, Dove One-Three, Roger. I spent six months in a hospital, in a ward with an old cartilage, who had Parkinson's syndrome. He constantly mumbled to himself and he stuffed used Kleenex up his sleeves, also, every night, this shell-shocked old pal muttered something in his beard.I could hear snatches of phrases from Tupac's Ghetto Gospel song. Medical personnel thought, that...

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Cirque du Soleil

I believe in God and in steel Arnie, but Arnie tricked me and the machines did not come to power. Reptilians came to power, and pharmaceutical companies are creating bio-weapons. Yesterday I decided to add some MDMA tablets to my porridge, but I forgot the stash where I hide them. Suddenly I felt some moisture in my underpants and went to the toilet to see what it could be. It turns out, that I forgot to pull out Tampax tampons, I stuck them into my colon, so that colored pencils doesn't...

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Old Memoriz

When I was 6 years old, in 1992 my grandmother fell ill with multiple sclerosis. That was the diagnosis, almost a year after the onset of the disease. At first, no one could understand, why this healthy, explosive as dynamite, full of life woman, 70 years old, fell ill (couldn’t walk, couldn’t turn over on her own) and lost weight up to 128 kg. The doctors questioned the following diseases: cardiac ischemia, migraine, stroke and a bunch of different afflictions, then she was sent to the...

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Guatemalan whorehouse

To survive the harsh European winter, I went to work in Guatemala, and to relax at the same time. I'm really tired of already walking in a fur coat and lying in the hospital with a concussion, due to the fact that the public utilities did not properly clean off the snow on the roof of houses and damned blocks of ice fall on people, drop out of the sky. Mr. Incredible and the bomb both fall onto a rooftop, where the bomb detonates harmlessly as Bomb Voyage appears in a helicopter, but thank...

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Dirty Bobby

Hello dear readers! We received a letter to our editorial office, calling for help. We will publish this letter (punctuation observed) here. We have hired the best psychologist from the city of Baghdad, who will give advice to this poor man in a difficult life situation."I have been married for a long time, I have children. My family knows nothing about how I make money. I started escorting 12 years ago when I felt dissatisfaction. There were many interesting things that I wanted to try...

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