Guerrilla Warfare

Have you noticed, that people hide in the cracks like cockroaches, so that they would not be slapped with a slipper by the groups of the anonymous authority, which has been given birth by the international network structures, World behind side scene? And in the zombie’s media, donkey urine is poured into the infernal cauldron, where Bill Clinton is boiling, who asks for a last chance to put a dick in Monica’s mouth. Hello, and welcome to the first new episode of Survivor Chronicles. During hard times this will be the name of the all articles. Last night on a pornhub website I found out, that the American civil war was started. In Texas, a black man was caught into tornado funnel and was deported to the Emerald City. There he got lost and couldn't find the toilet and urinated in the fountain where a decrepit old man with green glasses was swimming along with dried pieces of shit. Black man was immediately grabbed by guards in green glasses and tasered and dumped in a dumpster to die. Moreover, they pured boiling water there and closed the lid. Because of these events, in Alaska - unrest among citizens has began. Among the local Indians there were wild riots: they robbed people, set fire to cars, broke into nursing homes and raped oxygen tanks, broke into a local radio station, tore off the microphone and took turns sitting on it, many people were injured. A pastor from Luther King’s church called for peace of mind, after which he took a hammer and went to smash windows of a clothes store from an Italian couturiers. Sometimes you have to put something shiny in the window to get him in the store. This is exciting that these groups threatened to force those disobeying the call to strike to return to their homes and to attack any shops, businesses or vehicles that defied their actions.A wave of protests and riots quickly spread across America, as cornhusker flew everywhere and threw leaflets with the following content: "Sucking on the tits! Had the hooker beggin for the dick! My dick got rock quick!" Cornhusker's pilot was Denis Rodman, along with Kim Jong-un, who wanted to throw a rotten tomato on the Microsoft office building, but there was a sharp turn and Kim Jong-un fell out of the plane like potato and fell on the roof of the Microsoft office building where Bill Gates grilled a chicken. Bill Gates thought: "What a chubby pigeon, just delicious". Bill Gates donates money to various scientific research, stewed cabbage, fart aesthetics. He is also the largest contributor of the World Health Organization and can lobby for any of his interests. By the way, people say, that he knew long before the coronovirus epidemic that there would be an epidemic. Actually, I would drink a cup of Nesquik with him in a sushi bar in Wuhan, but I'm afraid that while we will sit there, then at one of the nuclear power stations in China, the light bulb will burn out, because Windows XP will hang, like a low battery kiborg toy. Meanwhile, riots in America are already in Minnesota and Pamela Anderson walking in the forest of West Virginia and looking for her lost virginity. I don't know, if it was a stump or a branch, maybe a log, but whatever it was, there was no gas attack in Syria. Remember the "White Helmets" squad, who knows who these clowns are? Write about it in the comments. While I'm in lock down, I don't see many people, I'm a little bit lonely and I drink tea with a Bun. Meanwhile, in America, events are unfolding very spontaneously, a civil war on the nose. John McCain does not waste time in vain; he practices somersaults back and forth in the Shaolin Monastery. When he knew a civil war was about to break out, he sent one son to fight for the North and one to the South. Unfortunately, one son has no leg and the other has a concussion on his head, Oh, these retarded Vietnam veterans. We need to find the answer - why is everything so fucked up in America? It all started with the fact that Michael Jackson turned pale as death, it all started when the Americans landed on the moon, although the landing itself was filmed in the pavilion of the Warner Bros. movie studio, it all started with the fact that there was no need to invade Vietnam. I really liked the video, which showed how dead dudes from coronavirus were buried in white coffins. This ceremony was also filmed at the Warner Bros. studio, inside the coffins lay defective flash drives from China and glass wool, and the coffins themselves were made of cardboard ordered on Aliexpress. By the way, the medicine Remdesivir, which was created in America, is absolutely not effective. With this garbage you can only treat diarrhea of penguins. So, who benefits from this coronovirus and epidemic? Answer: reptilians. When the virus passes, foreign interventionists will arrive on Earth. I advise you to stock up on good weapons to resist. In fact, gray cardinals, let's call them “underground rappers” come up with different scarecrows stories and other goose crap so that people walk as directed, be obedient and in the end become slaves. No need to fight, it’s better to launch an expedition to Mars as soon as possible, instead of a Mars rover you can wear a donkey into spacesuit and move around Mars on it and generally, we should send some mazafakas to Mars and let they do their dark things there. If Tupac hadn’t flown to the moon, he would still be alive. By the way, Tupac and Biggie Smalls should've been putted into a coffin in a hand-to-big-toe pose and to every one of them should have put a pack of Remdesivir into their funeral clothes so they can have a good time in the afterlife sushi bar. Watch how Borka Yeltsin is dancing and gentlemen, prepare to have your lives transformed. By the way, the price of oil hit yet another record, because of his whole Rooster Poot Playhouse. Well, let's not talk about carrion, but let's talk about lilliputians, movies, people and events.

I don’t want to discuss anything bitch, I'm getting pretty tired of that the aliens abducting me on Tuesdays and the next morning I wake up without pants in some kind of dirty porch. I have established a very good contact with them, they have subscribed to my twitter, instagram and facebook. I don't like it, when they show up unexpectedly and ask to go with them to their spaceship. One time I was relieving myself and sitting on john, a ray of light suddenly appeared and I began to be attracted by this ray to their rubber boat, which hovered over my house. I took haloperidol and the ray disappeared, I never met aliens any more. I saw only fishermen on a rubber boat and they slipped some stick into the water, I was very puzzled about what they were trying to do. I opened up the Wikipedia website and it turned out that this is not a stick, but a fishing pole and they fish, I did not know this before. Now there is an epidemic of coronavirus, someone is sounding the alarm, someone is trying to be treated by sticking reeds into dusty anus and someone like me is waging a guerrilla war with alien invaders who are already among us. My long-term research in this field has shown that invaders are afraid of consecrated water like not good demons, and they are also afraid of the appearance of the Ken doll. Recently I went to the church to get consecrated water, dragged a barrel with me and gave the priest a donation to restore the altar and asked him to pour water into the barrel and consecrate it. When he finished consecrating the water, I asked him to get into the barrel and he got into the barrel, then I closed the lid and rolled the barrel to my van, loaded it into the van, and drove away. In the evening, I had to fly to Afghanistan to buy a plasma gun and red poppy seeds there from local huckster for my greenhouse. I spent a month in Afghanistan, bought an air defense installation, a plasma gun and poppy seed. When I flew back to my homeland, I remembered that in my van there was a barrel filled with consecrated water and with a priest inside. I was very pleased with an air defense installation that I bought, I need it in order to shoot down the drone that my neighbor launches. This fag launches a drone that annoyingly flies over my house and takes pictures of everything on camera. Once I jerked off and did not close the window with a curtain, meanwhile this drone filmed everything that was happening, look for this video in the CIA archives. I forgot to mention that when I was in Afghanistan, I also bought an electronic catapult. Just today, I loaded a catapult with a drained shit of the deceased bum and launched a projectile throughout a neighbor's window. One hour later, the ambulance arrived and took him to the hospital with a heart attack, now neighbor's drone will not fly over my house. As I said earlier, I lead the resistance against the reptiloids and the shadow world government, both of them are afraid of the Ken doll, and I have it. Did you notice that Ken doesn't have a dick? And a hermaphrodite body? And glass eyes like a drug addict has, have you ever noticed? Such a defective Ken is a poor assistant in the fight against reptilians, such a crap must be burned to the glory of Zeus. I, as Papa Carlo, created an improved Ken from wood: instead of a dick, I attached a tiny bell to it, made needles instead of hair, and with the help of cotton wool, I made him huge muscles. Recently, I was walking down the street and saw an Illuminati he had a big bag on his shoulder and I immediately realized that the bag contains equipment for communicating with an alien mind. I took Ken out of my pocket, I always carry him with me, ran up to the traitor of earthlings and started to hit him over his head with Ken. Dude fell and I took off his pants to make a DNA sample from their microparticles and determine which planet he was from, one minute later I left that spot in a hurry. The next day, the local newspaper reported that the postman was attacked, beaten with a doll and somebody stripped off his pants. I was so ashamed, it was good that he did not remember me, everything happens, well, think about it, I was wrong. Meanwhile, 66-year-old Sylvia Driskell from Nebraska sued all gay people in the World. Moreover, she filed her claim as a representative of "God and his son Jesus Christ". Seven pages of italicized text all come down to this phrase: burn all faggots! As I said earlier, street riots are spreading across America. Black rappers struggle with tyranny of masons and social injustice. Did I tell you how I robbed the Gypsies? One day I was walking along the shore of the lake and saw how the Gypsies dig the ground, Yes, real Gypsies and with real shovels. It turned out that they had some Gypsy flair and found there scrap metal, or rather sections of rails. One rail was already dug out and the Gypsies were digging further. The next evening, I specifically went there and looked, dug ten rails and went on digging. I want to note that this place was not quite wild but not crowded. The shore was steep and I wondered how these skinny guys would raise these rails up the hill. I did not bother and at exactly 4 a.m., without notifying the gypsies, I drove up to this place on a Dodge pickup truck with my neighbor and pulled out all the rails with the help of cables and loaded it into a pickup truck.  We took this good to an old man who took scrap metal for money, drove back there twice. I'm so sorry, Gypsies. Not long ago I was almost killed by the toilet bowl, but more on that later, and now the commercial break: buy bags in IKEA stores!

In order not to get infected with the coronavirus, I bought a rake yesterday. I put them on the ground, moved 10 meters away, accelerated and stepped on them with a run. I knew that they would be able to punch me on the forehead, I knew that they would be able to make a lot of damage to public health and society at large and that a cherry pie will not fall on me from the sky. Sometimes I work part-time as a volunteer, for any help I just ask for a little cash money to buy a cannabis from a dealer, and if greedy squatters don't give money, I rob them. Recently, I was tasked to carry food to an old cunt, I took a bag of food for her, laid everything out, I've got all the pretzel rolls I can handle and took them for myself. I put only a mushroom in the bag for that old lady, which I plucked walking towards her past the forest. When I got to her door, I took viagra, so, just in case and rang the doorbell. Suddenly I discovered that the door was unlocked and I went inside. There was a terrible smell, as if someone had died and the whole apartment was littered with some kind of garbage. I saw cats, there were 20 of them, tied to a battery, two dogs and a crow, and the old bitch herself was lying on the bed drunk to death. I took Ken out of my pocket, I always carry him with me and began to beat that old slut over her head so that she sobered up, but familiar whore didn’t come to her senses. It seems that she kicked the bucket and didn't molest poor animals, I put a bag with a mushroom on the table, freed the animals, having untied them from the battery, took the black briefcase which I liked and left. I really hoped that there must be a lot of money in the briefcase. The police tried to find me but I was hiding in a septic tank as soon as I heard yelling and opened that briefcase up, but there was a sandwich, used condoms, and a package of Remdisivir, well, not bad, either. As the commander of the resistance against aliens, I recruit volunteers and those, who care about the fate of our Planet. We need resources and money. We're going to need a number of Bill Gaytes, he has a love nest in Paris and I need the address. I also need a jet plane and a parachute to go for drop into Mark Zuckerberg's inferno, which is the common enemy of all humanity and must be combated. Maybe I could parachute in from a helicopter, or scuba dive in from the sewer. These dudes have a lot of money, but we need even more. We will assemble an army of Zulus and Aborigines and arm them for the glory of Moloch. Recently an old man wrote a letter to me and asked to save his grandson from enraged classmates. The fact is that, classmates constantly chased after the grandson with knives and I decided to settle this issue. The thing is that - grandpa gave his grandson apples to school, they are juicy and ripe. Classmates did not want to harm the grandson, they just wanted to cut his apple and eat it. I advised that gradson instead of apples to carry a bottle of whiskey to school. Now classmates are chasing that grandson with glasses, but I think I have solved initial problem. As I said earlier, I, as a henchman of the church of Saddam Hussein (he explained to me how to use the hair drier) and for the resistance team with the shadow government - need money. "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs (1 Timothy 6:10). I am not a fan of money, but I see how the needy need it, because in Africa children die of thirst and hunger and various charitable foundations only launder money from donations. What are people ready to do for money and what money are ready to do for them? I need money to feed my goat Vilkes, so you can buy a matchbox  from me so I would split the profits with my goat and feed him. Give us this day our daily bread. Money is needed just for a piece of sausage and for resistance squad. Do not be afraid to donate money, there is nothing to worry about. May the giver’s hand not be empty, thenk you. There are rich people who donate one pair of socks for the poor and walk with their raised heads. Is this a good deed? This is just an attempt to buy indulgence, nothing more. My neighbor, he has cerebral palsy, once tried to rob a jewelry store to buy a french baguette for his brother, who works in a circus, he is a midget his name is Jofrey Valentino. A 59-year-young man drove into a jewelry store in southern Alaska, handed the seller a note and pulled out a plasticine gun. He did this cleverly with his feet. The message contained the standard phrase : "Give me the money or I'll shoot you." They gave him all the money and he left. After half an hour, the police caught him, threw him off the wheelchair, stuck him in a suitcase that was handed over to the storage room.

We're well aware that it's a hard time now, buy even in this time of stress people should pull together and smoke some weed. When I worked at the pawnshop, different dudes brought us all kinds of crap: holey socks, false jaws, inflatable dolls, slippers and much more. At that time, we had a serial robber in our city who robbed people's apartments and stole their slippers and didn't touch anything else. I worked on the night shift, there weren’t many customers at night, so I could calmly watch Hentai on TV. One night, when I was on shift, a man in a clown mask ran into the pawn shop. I thought that it was a robber and was about to get a sawn-off shotgun from under the counter, but suddenly he took off his mask and said that he wanted to pawn his slippers. It was a black man, who introduced himself as Usain Bolton. I told him that he would get 50 cents for his slippers, so he offered to exchange his slippers for a false jaw with his surcharge. We did the deal of the century and the customer left satisfied. This dude came back ten times in a month and kept bringing me different slippers and then I got suspicious. Once again, when I was on shift, some kind of an old man in a straw hat brought a live goat to pawn it. I gave this man 650 dollars and he left pleased. In order not to fall asleep on the shift, I turned on the Hentai + radio, there was a newscast: "A young man from Nigeria has been arrested for stealing more than a hundred pairs of slippers from the streets of Abuja. It turned out that the vile villain did not need the shoes for resale or any other criminal schemes, but for sexual pleasures-he kissed the slippers, hugged them and put them on his genitals." At this moment I fell from my chair and remembered the black man who brought slippers to our pawnshop and thought was it really that same heinous villain. Fuck, but how did he end up in my city and how did he bring so many slippers with him from Nigeria? Is it really smuggling or dirty cocaine money - but altogether, that's another story yet. I completely forgot to tell you about the methods of guerrilla warfare and what to do if you find plutonium. This I will tell you in the next Survivor Chronicles my dear little snails. And then the corona epidemic will fall to nothing.

Thank you, follow up the news and prepare the money!:D