Experience of Visions

Not so long ago, I worked part time at a sawmill and a log fell on my head, after which I lost consciousness. Hawk One-Two, Dove One-Three, Roger. I spent six months in a hospital, in a ward with an old cartilage, who had Parkinson's syndrome. He constantly mumbled to himself and he stuffed used Kleenex up his sleeves, also, every night, this shell-shocked old pal muttered something in his beard.I could hear snatches of phrases from Tupac's Ghetto Gospel song. Medical personnel thought, that this old man was the Messiah and the papers were banging on the door, morning and night to interview him. All hospital staff were idolaters and had to be anathematized for trying to worship this old reptiloid. He draws his power from lightning, smelly old man. My ward buddy was still quite lively, that young go-getter. He was visited by mobsters from the Italian mafia and offered him to become a kidney donor in exchange for a small pikines dog. James was the name of this old junk. Roommate, who constantly stole my huge amounts of drugs and tangerines, which were brought to me by my grandmother always tried to make a sly grin - as if it wasn't him. Once, James ate my hospital breakfast - porridge with raisins, while I was sleeping. For a month, James stole my breakfast, lunch, and dinner while I slept. I got tired of it and I profusely shat under his pillow, after which lovely old man died in his sleep and my health began to improve. In the morning some two Arabs came to take his body for burial, but the dead old guy was too fat and they could not get him out throught the doorway, so they decided to get him out, throught the window without anybody noticing. The ward was on the eighth floor and these two strange Arabs threw the body out the window, then, they themselves went out the window and fell down like cucumbers. At that moment I sensed that something like the third eye revealed in me, I felt like I heard the crying voices of hungry African children, I felt like I heard the cries of George Bush from hell and I felt like I was sitting at the Last Supper with Jesus. Suddenly I heard the sound of ringing coins, as if I was standing at a slot machine in Las Vegas and then my whole body would start to shake, potato skins made my kind of gassy, but suddenly the insanity stopped when I realized that I can see through the wall. Behind the wall, a nurse sat on the toilet, reading x-Men comics. Two days later I was discharged from the hospital and with the gift of clairvoyance I went to the railway station to a bar to have a drink.

 I walked past the cemetery and slowly felt as if a swarm of flies flew into my anus, I heard an otherworldly voice calling to the cemetery. I went to the cemetery and saw a looted grave, next to which stood someone's spirit. The Ghost asked me to clean up the grave and said that Lara Croft came to see him. I began to dive into the spirit world and started a conversation with the ghost. It turned out that the ghost is a gay man killed by Mexican bikers. He was kidnapped, drugged with crack, and left to die in the desert. I asked the ghost for cheats for the World of Warcraft game, I was interested in the items dupe and the mode of walking through the walls. The gay spirit only told me that it was better to put Energizer batteries into an electronic strapon and suddenly disappeared. I cleaned up the grave and left. On the way to the bar, I met a man with a bucket on his head, I felt as if I could look inside him and saw that he had an ebola. He gave me a high five and got into a Jeep Wrangler. When I went into the bar, I smelled a pungent, sharp smell of shit and felt that it was peas mixed with beer. And so it turned out: a bald man with a long mustache came out of the toilet and was pale as death, he was not well. I went up to him and told him to take off his pants and get on his knees. He took off his pants and knelt. I put my hand on his forehead and said that I knighted him and that the attack of diarrhea would pass. It was visible, as my energy of thought force entered him and he felt better, he fell to the floor and froth flowed from his mouth. I heard that someone was calling the police, went to the bartender and asked for a soda. Five minutes later, a man in a straw hat with a fire extinguisher ran into the bar and he was very aggressive. I went up to him and told him to get on his knees and take off his hat. He took off his hat and sat on his knees. I put my hand on his forehead and said that from now on he is - sir. Suddenly I heard that the spirit of Abraham Lincoln was talking to me, I started to feel indecently puffy and I saw the bartender through a haze who said to pay five dollars for a soda. I wanted to order another glass of soda, but the bartender said, that the bar was being quarantined due to an outbreak of the Corona Virus.

Recently, different spirits haven’t been seen so often to me, since I went into religion and make myself an enema from Wiskas. Most of the time I hallucinated about ants and different guests. I call them uninvited guests, almost always these "guests" were very unpleasant, they caused me fear, rejection or hatred. And now, I sell the drugs that keep you people from seeing dragons at night. Most of all I hated the bald man who came to me several times. This man stood right in front of me. He was very short, too skinny for his suit, old trousers were high and tightly tightened with a belt. The man had a nose like a boiled potato, his bald head was shining, and only his temples were covered with ash-colored hair. It cast a shadow and looked as real as all the people around me. I thought that this guy would probably ask to share a cigarette, but he silently put his hands behind his back and, like a magician from a cheap circus, took out a dirty pair of underpants from somewhere and spread them out in front of my face, and then threw them at me. my right arm was covered in spots. Underpants smelled like rotten eggs, urine, shit, carrion. All the most disgusting odors that exist. When I got close to him, I almost throw up, barely restrained. I shouted that someone would take off these underpants from me, and at that moment I realized that there were no underpants and there was no bald man, and I was just fighting in a panic in the middle of the store in front of dozens of people. I grabbed strawberry condoms from the counter and ran away. When I got home I turned on cartoons about Mickey Mouse and fell asleep. The next day I went to church. When I walked into the church - I had this insight that the woman who sits next to me will be my wife. But it was not a woman but the figure of the virgin Mary. I drank consecrated church water and I felt better,I felt some warmth. In the evening I majestically took a big dump and the next day I got out of bed happy and found out that there’s a goose virus epidemic in the World. I haven't seen a visions in a long time because I wear a chemical protection suit. I will call you as soon as things settle, okay?

People! If you want, then lend me some money please, or give it free of charge. To build the ark and bait the Valkyries.

Thank you! Follow up the news and prepare the money!:D