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The earth is in grave danger, and we all need to dig deep, step up to the plate and do all we can to turn a corner for a better future. Displeased with old bitch, Zeus crippled her by chopping it in half. Zeus was the first, Zeus last, the lightning's lord, Zeus head, Zeus center, all things are from Zeus... Zeus alone first cause of all. Honeystly I like parrotst as much as I do liverwurst. Get on the bottle you damn democrats! It's a less polite way of saying go have sexual intercourse with yourself.

Brown Hadouken

I'm already tired of living in poverty, well, not so much that in poverty, but just bums already perceive me for their friend. They hang around next to my house, getting wasted, at the same time they were smashing bottles, were making sex orgies in cart board boxes and once even pissed on my fence. I even hung a sign on the fence "Homeless fagots are forbidden to urinate on the fence!", but this does not stop them. These scamings stole a goat on a local farm and they very often drink alcohol with her, then the goat becomes agressive and attack people. Once, when I went out in underpants with stripes onto the street to pick up letters from the mailbox, right in that moment I was attacked by that damn goat. She probably thought that I was...

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GUESS WHO BANGIN?

Cheers!Now I need a lawyer, because I had a letter from some fucked up old cunt, threatening to sue me,because her grandson choke on chicken mcnugget while reading one of my articles, and then he spent two months in coma, and after he recovered, he crapped himself twice and started to speak aztec language. I decided to visit her grandson and came to the hospital, but as soon as I entered his hospital ward I saw that he began to choke on chicken mcnugget again while reading articles on this...

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Calm Before the Storm

Hello, Hello! Recently, a small tragedy occurred, because hilarious brigade of outhouse cleaners came to visit us. These guys were from emergency rescue service. The fact is that my neighbor was robbed, his TV and golden jewelry were stolen. Thief appeared to be a dirty, good-for-nothing bum, who wanted to hide stolen TV and golden jewelry into our outdoor toilet, but accidentally fell into the cesspool. He sat there for two days unit level of shit got high enough, so he could swim up, reach...

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Old English

Hey!Not that long ago I was really hungry and took can of peaches from my stash. I opened the can and was about to take one peach, but suddenly I felt sorry for them, I got very scared and crapped my pants. Later, when I put on my new clean pants, I want to take a peach from the can again, but I got scared again. Then, I puked twice into the sink and went to brush my teeth with a toilet paper. I always damn that moment, when my grandmother pours russian vodka instead of milk into my plate...

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Sunny revolver

Hello my people!The World is very tense right now, so I decided to not to bathe until second coming of Jesus Christ, so would reek like a dirty ass, thus I would skip the line to Heaven. In fact, such heresy should not be brought, I am a religious person and I try to go to church on Sundays. Once when I was in the church, I saw how the priest drove the evil spirit from the old woman. She was shaking and mumbling, I figured out that she was shouting quotes from Rick Ross's songs. She shouted...

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Crazy Time

Hooray!So the New Year has come, it's time to clean your self and to feed the chicken. That should be done in order, so he could be fat and fly south. The point is that, when a chicken becomes a cock - he starts to stink terribly. Then, you have to buy him Nivea deodorant for men, also hungry wolves hunt on cocks. These fierce forest creatures are very dangerous, even the local Sheriff shits his pants when he sees these animals. But actually this are not wolves, but rather pranksters from a...

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Cow flakes

Hey!Ones again Nobel Prize was given to some idiots. In my opinion awarding committee has shitted their pants and right after that incident the weather guy told that winter will be extremely cold. The prize in economics was awarded for the theory of contracts. In my opinion Nobel Prize in economics should be given to an old man who counted the number of teeth in his mouth and compared them with the number of gorillas teeth. All respectable people already know what is economics - 2+2=Potato...

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BALLS OF STEEL

As I always say - the political Worldwide tensions are sizzling hot. And it's not a dancing bear with a tambourine at the meadow - This is a full-scale conflict. At the present time there is an opposition between the great powers. To be honest I don't care who wins, I need a party right now. To be honest - I'm actually very worried about peace on Earth and so I vote for the Emperor of Afghanistan, who promised to plant the red poppy all over the World. Well, to be honest - I invented this...

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