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Calm Before the Storm

Hello, Hello!
Recently, a small tragedy occurred, because hilarious brigade of outhouse cleaners came to visit us. These guys were from emergency rescue service. The fact is that my neighbor was robbed, his TV and golden jewelry were stolen. Thief appeared to be a dirty, good-for-nothing bum, who wanted to hide stolen TV and golden jewelry into our outdoor toilet, but accidentally fell into the cesspool. He sat there for two days unit level of shit got high enough, so he could swim up, reach shit hole with his hands and get out, but suddenly fell back there again. And that's why a brave squad of outhouse cleaners arrived to get that bum from the captivity, along with TV and gold jewelry, but no help was needed, since that dude got out himself. After he got out, he almost scared squad of outhouse cleaners to death, because he was covered in thick layer of dried poop and looked like some kind of shit monster. After seeing such an abomination, men strongly believed in Jesus the Saviour and became faithful christians. The neighbor was very happy that stolen things came back to him. I'm very sorry to tell you such a story, but I just can't control myself and wanted to share with you such a stunning event. By the way, not long ago I was asked to shelter in my house for one night one poor man, a disabled Desert Storm veteran, he did not have one leg and his head was bandaged. I sheltered him for one night, but he climbed on the roof and took a shit into the chimney. This is how certain persons reply to kindness with kindness, but I do not take offense at this fucked up veteran, I wish him much happiness and health. By the way, I still can not understand how he climbed up on the roof, if you know how, then please write it in the comments. After all these events, I really wanted to help people more and to show mercy, to be a philanthropist and benefactor. My friends and I gathered clothes, buy sweets, cigarettes and gave it all to a nursing home, so we held a concert and I sang to the guitar. Let people know that they are not abandoned and not forsaken and let them never give up. In fact, I can't always help myself, because sometimes I obsessed with intrusive thoughts, that are absolutely not important for me, but when I do something useful, then there comes a calm.

There are many charitable foundations that help people, but I still go hungry and without pants. As you know, there are a lot of philanthropists such as: Bill Gates, Warren Buffett and Russian billionaire. Bill Gates has his own charitable foundation, but to whom does he help? There are hungry people walking around. I do not know what kind of charity foundation he has, but I saw him for asking for change at the railway station. It was definitely him and I have no doubt. He was dressed in a torn sweater and wearing glasses, he was dressed the way he usually walks around the Microsoft office. I will not talk about justice, why some people are poor and others are rich and I will not say that there are so much money in the World that rhinos in Africa are shitting by huge streams of money. There is a simple economy - there are a lot of money, but there are not enough goods, maybe soon the goods will not be at all and the money will be depreciated, of which hungry children will build paper houses. But I will ask the New York Times to calm down and not to print my article in the newspaper - it will not happen soon. Personally, I do not need money to build a manor with a gold toilet on the Moon, I need them for small pleasures, which are very many, as well as for business and it's not just any whims. How long have you been playing games? But not this one! It's fake! It is necessary to play only in trusted games and they are here. If you feel that some amounts of money you do not need, then you can safely donate them to me. And also, if you have particularly unnecessary factory, that produces rubber products or something else - you can also give it to my effective management. Not for nothing that I have graduated from the Department of Management. And don't be afraid to do it, it is not forbidden, there is nothing to worry! Oh, I feel that this summer will be hot on the event! Believe me, my dear readers, I wish all of you good and I want you to be happy. And not long ago we were visited by Indians.

A tribe of Indians came to our city, they entertained people, sang songs and smoked the pipe of peace. I also was on that festival, I was approached by one Indian, covered in feathers, who asked me to predict my future for money. Then I suspected something was amiss and introduced myself as an local sheriff's deputy - Mr Dickwood, and then I asked him his ID card. I was absolutely not interested in knowing my future, since my grandmother had already predicted it.
Before the prediction, she got sky high on crack, so that she opened her third eye. After a while she started to shake in convulsions and she got a foam from her mouth. I had to hit the back of her head with a baton, so she came to her senses and become an adequate again. Granny calmed down and said that I would become like Messiah and I will get on the cover of a Hustler magazine. Back to Indian festival... The Indian did not have any documents and I realized that he was a filthy fagot and a charlatan who sits on the bottle all evening and plays Nintendo. Real Indians always have documents and a gangster like heavy golden chain, like rappers have, but this clown had some chicken feathers glued to his head. At that moment, I finally realized that this was a refugee from an arabic country, who was pretending to be Indian to make some money on it. Do not think that I'm bad to the Indians, the Indians are kind, wise and good people, but charlatans pretending to be Indians are natural fucks. Similarly, with international terrorism, it does not really exist, all these leaders of terrorist groups are just fucking actors with a glued beard. All wars, terrorist acts and other bullshit are paid by rich countries to conduct their own game and to have mechanisms of influence. Soon the terrorists will blow themselves and it won't simply be covered in news tapes, because it's no longer interesting. That is, they are already committing their dark acts and in truth - this shit is no longer interesting to nobody. Arrangement of the World is not so easy, but I think you should not get into his black hole, you just have to enjoy life and thank God for each passing day. Let the garlic and the Panda be with you, which I try getting out from the dark cave!

Thank you for attention, follow up the news, share, buy, play, write letters to me and join to my club! Cheers.