Sunny revolver

Hello my people!
The World is very tense right now, so I decided to not to bathe until second coming of Jesus Christ, so would reek like a dirty ass, thus I would skip the line to Heaven. In fact, such heresy should not be brought, I am a religious person and I try to go to church on Sundays. Once when I was in the church, I saw how the priest drove the evil spirit from the old woman. She was shaking and mumbling, I figured out that she was shouting quotes from Rick Ross's songs. She shouted - "Everyday I'm hustlin", "Them boys dealing blow, they John Doe" and "Port of Miami, Port of my candy". The priest read a prayer and sprinkled her with Holy water, old woman made a somersault and fell to the altar. Suddenly out of nowhere appeared white and fluffy poodle, which ran up to her and has raised a paw to pee on that old nasty gal. The priest took a small figure of an angel and threw it into a poodle. Poodle was smashed and silence appeared. The truth is that, there was some glamorous bitch in the church, who brought a little annoying dog with her. Later on the organ started to play, everybody calmed down and started to sing gospel. I had a feeling that I have come to the wrong address - Yes, sir, it was. And so it happened. The fact of the matter is, that I was getting wasted with fucked up biker from "Mud Dogs" Motor Club on the eve. He had a wodden arm and it was clear to me, that he was a biker movement veteran. That Sunday I was hungover and got a wrong adress. Instead of the church I got to the building, where was a rehearsal of the Circus Shapito. But in truth, sometimes I clean my soul through a variety of butyrate. Sometimes I can even dress up as a priest and go on preaching to Burger King's parking lot, about the dangers of viewing porn. Ordination changes souls, purges sin. My dear readers do not even try to believe what I say. I don't want you to think that I'm dirty pig. Just some times it turns into a London grime, but what did you expect? They write seriously only in the Forbes Magazine, everything is serious and all about the money. Already tired of these fat cats, the same faces again. It's my time to accumulate a large fortune, which I will hide in grandma's trunk.

Not so long ago, I tried to play the lottery and bought a lottery ticket. This happened that day when I was shearing the sheep in the barn and decided to have a drink with the local janitor. I woke up only two days later at the bus stop in my underpants, covered with a towel. I did not know was my lottery ticket with the winning numbers or not, because he was in the pocket of my pants. I went to the barn, took the wool and placed it into my underpants to not get sick fever. A little bit later the janitor entered the barn, he was wearing my pants and shaking my lottery ticket. I took a shovel, stuck it in a pile of horse shit, pulled back and fucked him up with it. In fact, this villain was a repeat offender, who served time for robbery and hooliganism in prison. I realized that their is one criminal scum less. I got scared, took off my pants off him with a lottery ticket inside and ran away. My house was in front of that barn, but it took me two hours to get there, because I was crawling like Rambo in the jungle, so nobody could notice me. I picked up a lottery ticket and realized that it was rolled into a joint spliff, smoked by a local janitor and it became pretty much useless. Well, the next day I bought a Euro Jackpot lottery ticket, has anyone won at least once? Please write in comments section about your experience playing the lottery. In this kind of lottery was a jackpot - 148 million euros, but it seems that to win it is absolutely impossible! Finally Lady Luck turned her face on me and  I guessed a few numbers and won € 20. I spent my winnings on a taser and a clay pot, which I put near my bed to shit at night, because my toilet is outside the house. If you feel that you are holding in hand the winning ticket with all guessed numbers, so you can give it to me, and you can get the fuck out (sorry for being rude, nerves) or live into the Tibetan Monastery to do Kung Fu.

Every time, when the news release comes out, I become part of the happiness, because I can tell you the essence of things. I try to choose hot topics such as napalm in Vietnam. By the way, just yesterday I received new information about the surveillance of people, being waged by CIA. These children of Hercule Poirot are spying on you everywhere. Spies have snicked into your television set and already know which programs you are watching at night. Computers, phones, peoples, politicians and even beavers are all monitored and equipped with spy devices. It seems to me, that all the people and dudes, that work in CIA are just perverts, who likes digging up other people dirty laundry. If you are feeling that you are being spied on, then please write in comments section which dirty deeds you did during last year. You're all on my hook. Let's not watch adult movies and not keep online correspondence with Osama bin Laden's followers. By the way, my neighbor is a little boy with really weird voice, like he is being put a distortion effect from Disney's Music Studio on. I am trying not to communicate with him, because their is a hypothesis that this is a cyborg, sent from North Korea to locate targets for their nukes. Also I recently got information that negros had some good fun with nuns in Italian monastery. In fact, this news are as old as my granpa's beard, who is destroying Vietcong in Valhalla right now. On this occasion I want to congratulate all women on the last holiday, with the eighth March! I advice you to always carry a knife in your purse, so that if anyone will want to have fun with you against your will, then you can stab all sorts of rapists in their Adam's Apple. And by the way, here's a little present from me personally. Enjoy it and inspire men! Please write in comments section that you presented to your woman on the eighth of March!

At last it is warm and there is no fucking snow, which I have to shovel near my house. Who knows what will happen with dollar? Please write in comments section. US of A is an interesting country, which gave World such interesting people as: Dr Alban, Kim Jong-un and other nonconformists. But they are printing dollars as rapidly as rhino's diarrhea. If you know how to get a job in the mint, write that in comments section. I want to sell various goods on this site, but inflation in Compton prevents me from doing so. I hope that I will hear coins ring in my pocket. If you want to support me, do it from the heart. I'm not afraid of big sums of money, as all will go to the development of happiness. I still have a lot to tell you.

P.S. Thank you my dear readers, dear members of the club!

Thank you for attention, follow up a news and play!