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The earth is in grave danger, and we all need to dig deep, step up to the plate and do all we can to turn a corner for a better future. Displeased with old bitch, Zeus crippled her by chopping it in half. Zeus was the first, Zeus last, the lightning's lord, Zeus head, Zeus center, all things are from Zeus... Zeus alone first cause of all. Honeystly I like parrotst as much as I do liverwurst. Get on the bottle you damn democrats! It's a less polite way of saying go have sexual intercourse with yourself.

Cirque du Soleil

I believe in God and in steel Arnie, but Arnie tricked me and the machines did not come to power. Reptilians came to power, and pharmaceutical companies are creating bio-weapons. Yesterday I decided to add some MDMA tablets to my porridge, but I forgot the stash where I hide them. Suddenly I felt some moisture in my underpants and went to the toilet to see what it could be. It turns out, that I forgot to pull out Tampax tampons, I stuck them into my colon, so that colored pencils doesn't accidentally wont get in my back hole. Sometimes I wake up at night and walk around the house like a sleepwalker, take two colored pencils and eat jam with them like Chinese chopsticks. In the toilet I have a book “Anal drillers”, which was written by...

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Old Memoriz

When I was 6 years old, in 1992 my grandmother fell ill with multiple sclerosis. That was the diagnosis, almost a year after the onset of the disease. At first, no one could understand, why this healthy, explosive as dynamite, full of life woman, 70 years old, fell ill (couldn’t walk, couldn’t turn over on her own) and lost weight up to 128 kg. The doctors questioned the following diseases: cardiac ischemia, migraine, stroke and a bunch of different afflictions, then she was sent to the...

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Guatemalan whorehouse

To survive the harsh European winter, I went to work in Guatemala, and to relax at the same time. I'm really tired of already walking in a fur coat and lying in the hospital with a concussion, due to the fact that the public utilities did not properly clean off the snow on the roof of houses and damned blocks of ice fall on people, drop out of the sky. Mr. Incredible and the bomb both fall onto a rooftop, where the bomb detonates harmlessly as Bomb Voyage appears in a helicopter, but thank...

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Dirty Bobby

Hello dear readers! We received a letter to our editorial office, calling for help. We will publish this letter (punctuation observed) here. We have hired the best psychologist from the city of Baghdad, who will give advice to this poor man in a difficult life situation."I have been married for a long time, I have children. My family knows nothing about how I make money. I started escorting 12 years ago when I felt dissatisfaction. There were many interesting things that I wanted to try...

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Year of Confederations

I want to welcome all of you, professionals, amateurs alike, lovers of anal slavery and protectors of terror to the 12th Nobel's Open Championship! Faint of heart, please, do not read further. The story happened on the New Year holidays. The ambulance delivered a young woman to the hospital. Lying on a gurney. I notice, that she looked completely dying. After collecting the anamnesis, it becomes clear that a nuisance happened to her on New Year's holidays - after three days of festivities...

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After winter coma

Dear hot mamas and pimp daddies, it's time to clean up huge amounts of shit after a hard winter, it was after last winter, durring which a combat panda, which escaped from a circus and raped an old grandpa from the Cocker's family.The fact is that, he sat in the closet peeing into the laundry basket, because he was hiding from his wife, who loved role-playing in a BDSM costume, but old grandpa rather loved to hard core fuck vietnam war cripples from nursing home. I'm not a fan of violence...

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You rockin with the best. Part 2

You rockin with the best. Part 1